Sunday January 18, 2009
Sources: The Star
To love and to cherish
SUNDAY WITH T.SELVA
The secret recipe for a happy and harmonious partnership is effective and frequent two-way communication.
LEARNING to adjust and compromise is an art of happy living because almost every moment we are faced with situations that require a give and take approach.
It is not a question of whether we like it or not but such conditions are bound to occur due to the complex and fast lifestyle most of us are involved with daily.
Fighting or challenging such situations will not take us anywhere other than to sour our relationships at home or work and resulting in developing hatred, anger, stress and tension.
Some people have a wrong notion that adjusting and compromising is a sign of weakness but it is actually not.
Instead it reflects on the individual’s wisdom, maturity and understanding of being able to see what others can’t.
Such act is in fact viewed as noble and dignified.
I write this week’s column following news from two couples from Penang who have stopped talking with their spouses owing to some differences and they are now planning to go separate ways.
This is a worrying trend because last year about 20% of registered marriages in the country ended in divorce.
No two individuals are the same and it is not unnatural to find two persons having different interests, likings, hobbies, past-times, routines and knowledge.
Owing to this, sometimes such differences may interfere with their relationship and some hiccups are bound to happen but making up quickly and emerging stronger with improved ties is vital here.
The secret recipe for a happy and harmonious partnership is exercising words like compromise and adjust, and adulation and sweetness of speech.
Removing ego and showing respect for each other is another crucial aspect to the success of a relationship.
Every relationship has to pass through good and bad times but what is important is standing by each other through tough times because such test is to strengthen the vow the couple have made to be together.
Effective and frequent two-way communication verbal or written have been found since ancient time to be the key to the success of this bonding because it helps in understanding the dynamics of each other and prevents conflicts and misunderstandings.
A good relationship depends on a combination of many things but top among them all is treating your spouse as your best friend and not taking him or her for granted just because both have made a lifelong commitment.
In a close buddy relationship, the love and affection continues to ignite and grow daily whenever they come in contact, thus leading to a healthy connection.
For instance, when a couple have something they don’t like about their partner, they should communicate it rather than just keeping it in their heart.
Of course, they should do so in a respectful way so as not to offend their partner.
People are often known to share funny stories with their life partner prior to their marriage but after the wedding, the hilarity disappears and this is not good.
Such openness and funny side of communication should apply forever because laughter is the invisible glue in a relationship.
Simple gestures of showing appreciation, having at least one meal together daily, having weekly or monthly time-out, remembering and celebrating events like birthdays, anniversaries and special events bring constant spark to a relationship.
One long-term activity that should be exercised by any couple is allocating quality time regularly for each other.
Investing time in a relationship is imperative as this exercise allows each other to discover themselves deeper for a compatible and loving association.
Trust is another ingredient because it allows both parties to feel secure and believe there is a future for their relationship.
Just like it takes two hands to clap, a good relationship involves both sides.
While one side can take initiative, it still requires the other side to make the relationship work and only by working together can this union reach its full potential.
I truly believe nobody is perfect but everyone can grow to improve and give their best but both sides must be willing to change.
Instead of blaming their partner when something goes wrong, they should look inside themselves to see if there is something they can change.
When both sides have this attitude, the relationship grows stronger and stronger.
Basically, building and maintaining a healthy marriage takes time and a lot of effort and it is a life long process.
With the day-to-day pressures of work, taking care of the children and household tasks, it can be easy to neglect to nurture our relationship and to take our mate for granted.
It is necessary to remind ourselves constantly about the importance of fostering a healthy and loving relationship which is the foundation to build a successful marriage every day.
Relationships cannot be built in a just day or two; it is a lifelong journey when two people decide to make a divine bond to be together.
■ T. Selva, The Star’s Sunday Metro editor, says that a good relationship blossoms when two people decide to share instead of trying to change each other.
Tips to build a happy relationship :
● Be willing to change.
● Be honest to your spouse.
● Avoid competition between the two of you.
● Both must complement each other.
● Avoid being possessive and selfish.
● Be kind, gentle, patient and loving.
● Keep romance alive in your marriage.
● Say sorry if you have made a mistake.
● Be supportive in whatever he or she does.
● Have integrity and this will gain honour.
● Be a good listener, pay attention and be open.
● Give surprises as it adds tonic to the romance.
● Cracking jokes helps to build cheerful relationship.
● Never bring past problems and unpleasant incidents.
● Develop compassion for your partner and yourself.
● Know the likes and dislikes to shape the relationship.
● Exercise sweetness of speech and never use harsh words.
● Treat your spouse the way you would like to be treated.
● Leave little notes for him or her when you miss each other.
● Express appreciation by saying thank you even for everyday things.
● Practise forgiveness as sometimes mistakes are made unintentionally.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Examination
Throughout my school life, I have never really been serious studying till when I am in my college life.
I still remember when I had 5A's for my std 5 exam, my dad was so happy that he is so proud to tell every customer who buy things from the shop. But too bad that I was too small then to understand why dad is so proud of me.
Then when I was in Form 3, I did quite well with my SRP by obtaining 4A's and able to go into Science1 stream. By this time dad isn't too proud of me.
When I was in Form 5, my SPM result is just average but I still manage to obtain aggregate 19 (Grade 1). By this time again dad just said I should have done better. Due to my poor performance in Science subjects, I was enrolled into Arts stream when I was in Form 6.
Parents been very supportive of me when it comes to studies. As long as I am willing to study, they are always willing to fork out the money to support me.
Through dad's friends recommendation, I was encouraged to do my A level at the Goon's institute rather than to study Form 6. So, I went to Petaling Jaya to do my A level.
Unfortunately at the Goon institute, the lecturers keep on changing. Feeling frustrated, I told my parents about it. They asked me if I wanted to come back to study Form 6. So, I went back again to study Form 6.
When studying Form 6, I was struggling with accounts. All the while I have been very poor with this subject. Worst is that the teacher who taught this subject is a real boring person. So, I totally let go this subject.
All the while during my secondary school days, I used to burn midnite oil when exam is approaching. I still remember that I used only 7 weeks to prepare for my SRP. As for SPM, I used 2 months to prepare for it.
When I said I prepare for the examination, I am very serious about it. I do not watch any TV programs at all nor do I go out to enjoy myself. I totally immerse myself in studying except for food, bath or going to the toilet.
But when I was in my Upper 6, even though I know I must use at least 3 months to prepare for the examination, I do not know why I always feel panic and do not know what to do. I just can't concentrate on my examination. Finally, I do not do well in my STPM.
Parents are very very disappointed with my STPM result. I was too shameful to produce my result to them. The moment I gave the result slip to my parents, I can see how disappointed in their face. I felt so bad that I do not know how to face them.
However, parents been supportive all the while. Through newspaper advertisement, I come across a new college for the hotel management course. I enrolled to the 4 year degree hotel management course.
When studying for the hotel course, I was always determined and keep on telling myself I should not disappoint my parents just like the STPM. So, I really keep track of all my subjects, doing all my assignments and update information for the course.
Whenever there is an examination, I will always try my very best to have the best result in any subjects. During any examinations, it is always either Stephanie or myself will have the best result.
And finally when it comes to the real final exam, I was fully prepared for it. I did very well for the exam with an honorable degree for it.
When the day comes on the announcement of the result, I was announced the best student. I was so happy that tears automatically flow down. I have never been such happy before that tears flow from my eyes. This is the very first time. And its very difficult to explain the happiness that I had. I keep on telling myself its really worth the effort throughout my 3 years for the course.
When studying for the hotel management course, one of my lecturer introduced to me the mind mapping technique by Lawrence Walter. I was amazed by the technique that I can study easily and remember facts easily as well.
So, as for examination, it is very important that we use the right technique to study. The best book for remembering facts and figures is by Tony Buzan. In fact, he is the creator of the mind mapping. He intoduces the usage of the left and right brain. With his technique, one can study easily.
During the SARS period where I was unemployed for nearly 3 months. This is the time I was introduced by my former Sunshine travel agent boss to take up the train the trainer course for Tony Buzan's memory course.
The Tony Buzan's memory course has the mind mapping, photographic memory, face and names memory, number memory and also how to remember poker cards.
By studying this course, it will definately help oneself in studies.
I still remember when I had 5A's for my std 5 exam, my dad was so happy that he is so proud to tell every customer who buy things from the shop. But too bad that I was too small then to understand why dad is so proud of me.
Then when I was in Form 3, I did quite well with my SRP by obtaining 4A's and able to go into Science1 stream. By this time dad isn't too proud of me.
When I was in Form 5, my SPM result is just average but I still manage to obtain aggregate 19 (Grade 1). By this time again dad just said I should have done better. Due to my poor performance in Science subjects, I was enrolled into Arts stream when I was in Form 6.
Parents been very supportive of me when it comes to studies. As long as I am willing to study, they are always willing to fork out the money to support me.
Through dad's friends recommendation, I was encouraged to do my A level at the Goon's institute rather than to study Form 6. So, I went to Petaling Jaya to do my A level.
Unfortunately at the Goon institute, the lecturers keep on changing. Feeling frustrated, I told my parents about it. They asked me if I wanted to come back to study Form 6. So, I went back again to study Form 6.
When studying Form 6, I was struggling with accounts. All the while I have been very poor with this subject. Worst is that the teacher who taught this subject is a real boring person. So, I totally let go this subject.
All the while during my secondary school days, I used to burn midnite oil when exam is approaching. I still remember that I used only 7 weeks to prepare for my SRP. As for SPM, I used 2 months to prepare for it.
When I said I prepare for the examination, I am very serious about it. I do not watch any TV programs at all nor do I go out to enjoy myself. I totally immerse myself in studying except for food, bath or going to the toilet.
But when I was in my Upper 6, even though I know I must use at least 3 months to prepare for the examination, I do not know why I always feel panic and do not know what to do. I just can't concentrate on my examination. Finally, I do not do well in my STPM.
Parents are very very disappointed with my STPM result. I was too shameful to produce my result to them. The moment I gave the result slip to my parents, I can see how disappointed in their face. I felt so bad that I do not know how to face them.
However, parents been supportive all the while. Through newspaper advertisement, I come across a new college for the hotel management course. I enrolled to the 4 year degree hotel management course.
When studying for the hotel course, I was always determined and keep on telling myself I should not disappoint my parents just like the STPM. So, I really keep track of all my subjects, doing all my assignments and update information for the course.
Whenever there is an examination, I will always try my very best to have the best result in any subjects. During any examinations, it is always either Stephanie or myself will have the best result.
And finally when it comes to the real final exam, I was fully prepared for it. I did very well for the exam with an honorable degree for it.
When the day comes on the announcement of the result, I was announced the best student. I was so happy that tears automatically flow down. I have never been such happy before that tears flow from my eyes. This is the very first time. And its very difficult to explain the happiness that I had. I keep on telling myself its really worth the effort throughout my 3 years for the course.
When studying for the hotel management course, one of my lecturer introduced to me the mind mapping technique by Lawrence Walter. I was amazed by the technique that I can study easily and remember facts easily as well.
So, as for examination, it is very important that we use the right technique to study. The best book for remembering facts and figures is by Tony Buzan. In fact, he is the creator of the mind mapping. He intoduces the usage of the left and right brain. With his technique, one can study easily.
During the SARS period where I was unemployed for nearly 3 months. This is the time I was introduced by my former Sunshine travel agent boss to take up the train the trainer course for Tony Buzan's memory course.
The Tony Buzan's memory course has the mind mapping, photographic memory, face and names memory, number memory and also how to remember poker cards.
By studying this course, it will definately help oneself in studies.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Treasure Life...
While I was taking a group of China tourists in Genting Highlands on the 1st October 2008, I met up with Sharon Chua. She told me that Alvin Ng's eldest son met with accident and was in coma.
The moment I heard about it, my body trembles. Why such a bad thing happen to Alvin's son?
I have a family and of course I understand well how Alvin's feeling is. I still remember after we celebrated Christmas 2007, and while ordering for supper, suddenly I recieved a phone call from my mom-in-law. She told us that Jia Chen is having a very high fever and saying that the floor can turn around.
Upon hearing this, we immediately rush back home. While driving back home, Joanne and I did not even speak a word. I am dead worried about Jia Chen because I am very sure it must be a real serious condition, or else my mom-in-law won't call us. I believe Joanne is in the same situation as I am really worry and praying for the safety of Jia Chen.
Upon reaching home, we immediately brought Jia Chen to visit the Pantai specialist centre. And its a real luck that Jia Chen is all right.
So, as a dad I can really feel and understand how Alvin gone through.
Very unfortunately, a week past and the worst news came that Alvin's son past away.
We went for his funeral from the first day. While we were there, I saw Alvin was crying. I immediately feel the trauma Alvin gone through. Its a very rare situation that you will be able to see a man guy like Alvin to cry openly. This really show how sad Alvin is.
We even went for the sent off to the colabarium and the next day we went for the ashes collection to be sent off to the Nilai memorial. Its a real bad situation to see every one in a sombre mood and tears keep on flowing.
At this time, I told Joanne that Alvin will know who his real friend is. True enough that those friends who have been helping around during the funeral till the very last day is true friend indeed.
Alvin's son dead because of motorbike accident at the age of 18.
I still remember very clearly when I was a teenager I was full of bravery and do not know what danger means.
There was once when I was only 15, and I did not even have the motor license, I borrowed 2nd uncle's motor to roam around. I don't really know the mechanical operation of the motor. I accidently pulled the oil too much and stepped on gear one. The motorbike immediately pick up and the front of motorbike flew up. Everyone there was screaming. Luckily I had a good control of the motorbike and nothing happen.
The second incident which I remember very clearly is that when I newly got the license and the new motorbike which was bought by dad. It was at night and I was on my way going back from town to home in Melaka. I was speeding. I want to overtake one of the cars. (At that time the Jalan Mata Kuching is not a highway) So, I just overtake but without changing the gear. (I do not really know that I must change the gear to a lower gear so that the motorbike will pick up better and faster). So, on the opposite side there is a car coming. Luckily that the car slowed down to let me undertake it and nothing happen. It is a real missed for me and that is why till this day I can remember it very clearly.
After I had my motorbike, I used to lie to parents that I will take a bus to KL. Out of bravery and adventurous, I rode the motorbike to KL instead. The reason why I rode to KL is because I love to be adventurous and also to learn the routes in KL.
There was once, while riding my motorbike to KL, suddenly the front tyre puntured. I was speeding at that time. I immediately slowed down and had a hard time controlling my motorbike. My motorbike was swerving like a snake. I was so lucky that I am able to control of the motorbike and there was no vehicle at that time. Or else, I will be in a very bad situation.
Due to this incident, from that day onwards, I dare not to ride motorbike to KL anymore.
So, from here, we should treasure our life greatly. Its during the teenage life that we have more bravery and adventurous than anyone. But please, remember, every move that you take always consider the loved ones around you will be worrying about you.
Don't let your loved ones grieved for you like Alvin's case. Please treasure life...
The moment I heard about it, my body trembles. Why such a bad thing happen to Alvin's son?
I have a family and of course I understand well how Alvin's feeling is. I still remember after we celebrated Christmas 2007, and while ordering for supper, suddenly I recieved a phone call from my mom-in-law. She told us that Jia Chen is having a very high fever and saying that the floor can turn around.
Upon hearing this, we immediately rush back home. While driving back home, Joanne and I did not even speak a word. I am dead worried about Jia Chen because I am very sure it must be a real serious condition, or else my mom-in-law won't call us. I believe Joanne is in the same situation as I am really worry and praying for the safety of Jia Chen.
Upon reaching home, we immediately brought Jia Chen to visit the Pantai specialist centre. And its a real luck that Jia Chen is all right.
So, as a dad I can really feel and understand how Alvin gone through.
Very unfortunately, a week past and the worst news came that Alvin's son past away.
We went for his funeral from the first day. While we were there, I saw Alvin was crying. I immediately feel the trauma Alvin gone through. Its a very rare situation that you will be able to see a man guy like Alvin to cry openly. This really show how sad Alvin is.
We even went for the sent off to the colabarium and the next day we went for the ashes collection to be sent off to the Nilai memorial. Its a real bad situation to see every one in a sombre mood and tears keep on flowing.
At this time, I told Joanne that Alvin will know who his real friend is. True enough that those friends who have been helping around during the funeral till the very last day is true friend indeed.
Alvin's son dead because of motorbike accident at the age of 18.
I still remember very clearly when I was a teenager I was full of bravery and do not know what danger means.
There was once when I was only 15, and I did not even have the motor license, I borrowed 2nd uncle's motor to roam around. I don't really know the mechanical operation of the motor. I accidently pulled the oil too much and stepped on gear one. The motorbike immediately pick up and the front of motorbike flew up. Everyone there was screaming. Luckily I had a good control of the motorbike and nothing happen.
The second incident which I remember very clearly is that when I newly got the license and the new motorbike which was bought by dad. It was at night and I was on my way going back from town to home in Melaka. I was speeding. I want to overtake one of the cars. (At that time the Jalan Mata Kuching is not a highway) So, I just overtake but without changing the gear. (I do not really know that I must change the gear to a lower gear so that the motorbike will pick up better and faster). So, on the opposite side there is a car coming. Luckily that the car slowed down to let me undertake it and nothing happen. It is a real missed for me and that is why till this day I can remember it very clearly.
After I had my motorbike, I used to lie to parents that I will take a bus to KL. Out of bravery and adventurous, I rode the motorbike to KL instead. The reason why I rode to KL is because I love to be adventurous and also to learn the routes in KL.
There was once, while riding my motorbike to KL, suddenly the front tyre puntured. I was speeding at that time. I immediately slowed down and had a hard time controlling my motorbike. My motorbike was swerving like a snake. I was so lucky that I am able to control of the motorbike and there was no vehicle at that time. Or else, I will be in a very bad situation.
Due to this incident, from that day onwards, I dare not to ride motorbike to KL anymore.
So, from here, we should treasure our life greatly. Its during the teenage life that we have more bravery and adventurous than anyone. But please, remember, every move that you take always consider the loved ones around you will be worrying about you.
Don't let your loved ones grieved for you like Alvin's case. Please treasure life...
Monday, September 22, 2008
Buying Car
Three years ago... when my previous car, the Proton Waja WJA 8262 is in bad condition, I decided to buy a new car.
I don't have much experience when it comes to personal car as I was lucky because ever since I was 18, my dad bought a car and I am the main driver of the car, the Ford Telstar MR6882. Its the family car and hence I am the family driver.
So, I have been driving the Ford until it is totally in very, very bad condition that I decided to get a new car. So, that is how I bought the Proton Waja.
I have used the Proton Waja for about 5 years. The Waja started to give me trouble. So, I decided its time for me to get a new car.
Why do I decide to buy a new car? This was because through my experience with the Ford. Dad bought the Ford. We have been using it as a family car. Dad really took good care of the Ford and the Ford is always in tip top condition.
Because of its good condition, we never think of selling off the Ford. Only after using the Ford for about 12 years, the car started to give us trouble. By the time, it was already too late for us to sell off the Ford because it has no more value. So, that is how I decided to buy the Proton Waja.
The Ford is still being used till today by Leong. I decided to give it to Leong since I have the new Waja.
So... because of the bad experience with the Ford, I was thinking a car is after all a car. The value will depreciate some way some how. It is always good to have a new car not more than 5 years because usually after 5 years the car will start to give all kind of problem. That is how I decided to sell off the Waja and get a new car.
But then which car to buy?
I have made a few visits to a few car show rooms. Finally, myself and Joanne decided to buy the Naza Ria.
The reason I buy the Naza Ria is because it is a MPV which can accomodates 7 people. And best of all it has a television set which I thought will be very good for Jia Chen. So, without thinking much I bought the Naza Ria for RM109 000.
At the initial stage of using the Naza Ria, I was very happy with the condition of the Naza Ria. It is very stable and very comfortable for driving. The only slack of the car is that the car consumed quite a lot of petrol. But then I was thinking, after all I don't drive much and the price of petrol is affordable, so it is still all right.
But after 2 years of using the Naza Ria, suddenly there is this world petrol crisis. The price of the petroluem increased tremendously. So, this is when I started to regret buying this car. So, I decided to sell off this car.
When I wanted to sell off the car, I got the shocked of my life. The salesman quote me only RM60 000 for the car. This means that the car value has depreciated near to 50%. I felt very angry. I wanted to dispose of this car but I cant now because if I sell off the car at RM60 000, I will need to fork out more money to pay to the bank. This is because the car loan is more than the selling price.
So, I have no choice but to keep the Naza Ria as it is right up till today. I really regret very much for not survey much when buying the car. So here is my advice when buying a car.
First of all it is very important to buy a reliable brand and economical petrol consuming car. Just like Joanne's current car, the Toyota Vios. I felt that she made a very wise decision to buy this car because this car is very save on petrol consumtion and best of all it is from a very reliable brand Toyota.
As from what I know and heard, almost every Korean car consumes a lot of petrol. Worst still is that the Korean car has no second hand value.
Please remember that if ever consider to buy a national car, never ever buy a brand new model. I had my problem with the Waja because it is a brand new model. The Gen 2 also gave a lot of people a lot of trouble. Kim Hoe also had a lot trouble with his Perodua Viva which is a brand new model in the market. Generally, Malaysia national car new model in the market always giving the consumer a lot of troubles.
If I have the choice again to buy a car, I will buy a car which is accomodative enough and also economical in petrol consumption. So, currently best choice is to buy the Perodua Myvi.
But then, I have no choice and got stuck with the Naza Ria. I cant sell off the car as it has no market value at all. The petrol consumtion of the car is really killing. I have only regrets for I cant buy another car due to the loan as well.
So, my another advise is that when comes to buy a car, buy the one which is affordable and save in petrol consumption. Never think of big car as to show off. Never buy big cars as the depreciation value is too great. It is better to invest in buying a house rather than buying a big car.
Remember.. house is always an asset. House will never depreciate in value. So, when it comes to buy property, buy big house but buy small car.
I don't have much experience when it comes to personal car as I was lucky because ever since I was 18, my dad bought a car and I am the main driver of the car, the Ford Telstar MR6882. Its the family car and hence I am the family driver.
So, I have been driving the Ford until it is totally in very, very bad condition that I decided to get a new car. So, that is how I bought the Proton Waja.
I have used the Proton Waja for about 5 years. The Waja started to give me trouble. So, I decided its time for me to get a new car.
Why do I decide to buy a new car? This was because through my experience with the Ford. Dad bought the Ford. We have been using it as a family car. Dad really took good care of the Ford and the Ford is always in tip top condition.
Because of its good condition, we never think of selling off the Ford. Only after using the Ford for about 12 years, the car started to give us trouble. By the time, it was already too late for us to sell off the Ford because it has no more value. So, that is how I decided to buy the Proton Waja.
The Ford is still being used till today by Leong. I decided to give it to Leong since I have the new Waja.
So... because of the bad experience with the Ford, I was thinking a car is after all a car. The value will depreciate some way some how. It is always good to have a new car not more than 5 years because usually after 5 years the car will start to give all kind of problem. That is how I decided to sell off the Waja and get a new car.
But then which car to buy?
I have made a few visits to a few car show rooms. Finally, myself and Joanne decided to buy the Naza Ria.
The reason I buy the Naza Ria is because it is a MPV which can accomodates 7 people. And best of all it has a television set which I thought will be very good for Jia Chen. So, without thinking much I bought the Naza Ria for RM109 000.
At the initial stage of using the Naza Ria, I was very happy with the condition of the Naza Ria. It is very stable and very comfortable for driving. The only slack of the car is that the car consumed quite a lot of petrol. But then I was thinking, after all I don't drive much and the price of petrol is affordable, so it is still all right.
But after 2 years of using the Naza Ria, suddenly there is this world petrol crisis. The price of the petroluem increased tremendously. So, this is when I started to regret buying this car. So, I decided to sell off this car.
When I wanted to sell off the car, I got the shocked of my life. The salesman quote me only RM60 000 for the car. This means that the car value has depreciated near to 50%. I felt very angry. I wanted to dispose of this car but I cant now because if I sell off the car at RM60 000, I will need to fork out more money to pay to the bank. This is because the car loan is more than the selling price.
So, I have no choice but to keep the Naza Ria as it is right up till today. I really regret very much for not survey much when buying the car. So here is my advice when buying a car.
First of all it is very important to buy a reliable brand and economical petrol consuming car. Just like Joanne's current car, the Toyota Vios. I felt that she made a very wise decision to buy this car because this car is very save on petrol consumtion and best of all it is from a very reliable brand Toyota.
As from what I know and heard, almost every Korean car consumes a lot of petrol. Worst still is that the Korean car has no second hand value.
Please remember that if ever consider to buy a national car, never ever buy a brand new model. I had my problem with the Waja because it is a brand new model. The Gen 2 also gave a lot of people a lot of trouble. Kim Hoe also had a lot trouble with his Perodua Viva which is a brand new model in the market. Generally, Malaysia national car new model in the market always giving the consumer a lot of troubles.
If I have the choice again to buy a car, I will buy a car which is accomodative enough and also economical in petrol consumption. So, currently best choice is to buy the Perodua Myvi.
But then, I have no choice and got stuck with the Naza Ria. I cant sell off the car as it has no market value at all. The petrol consumtion of the car is really killing. I have only regrets for I cant buy another car due to the loan as well.
So, my another advise is that when comes to buy a car, buy the one which is affordable and save in petrol consumption. Never think of big car as to show off. Never buy big cars as the depreciation value is too great. It is better to invest in buying a house rather than buying a big car.
Remember.. house is always an asset. House will never depreciate in value. So, when it comes to buy property, buy big house but buy small car.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
The Life Partner ( Wife or Husband )
Last week, Kim Yeong ( bro-in-lw ) came back to stay with us.
I came to know that he ran away from his wife and her family. It seems that his wife and family have been pestering him to buy a new 3 storey house together with them. They wanted to have 3 names (owner) for the house, namely Kim Yeong, his brother-in-law and his sister-in-law.
Kim Yeong felt very angry and disappointed because he has been very supportive of his wife's family. Almost every expenses of the family borned by him.
But of late his wife been pestering him to purchase the new house together with her family members, this is when Kim Yeong felt the full stop for everything.
Kim Yeong was saying, even the family's car, proton saga monthly installment has to be paid by Kim Yeong. What if after purchasing the new house and he has to pay everything for the new house.
Feeling overly pressured, Kim Yeong decided to leave his wife and child behind and come back to stay with his mother.
When I came to know about Kim Yeong story, I did not pity much on him. Why? Because when he was staying with me, I have been advised him so much about family matters.
I have told him and shared with him about my previous marrage. Now, he certainly agreed with me that when a man marries, its no longer about the man and his wife but also about both family together.
Kim Yeong's situation is very much like my situation on my previous marriage.
Initially when I was with Ching ( ex-wife ), we still get along well because she agreed and understood how her parents are.
Her father thought by giving me the bakery business means that giving me the golden bowl. Almost every expenses he incurred, has to be borned by me. Even when he drove to KL or Genting Highlands, the meals, the petrol, charges for car services have to borne by me. Even his daily 3 meals eating out will be claimed.
When he has his relatives from KL visiting him in Ipoh, he will bring them out for sumtious dinner. There he will pay for everything. But upon reaching home, his hand will be taken out to get money from me.
I felt very angry with the in laws. But I still can work out the marriage is because Ching still support me and against her parents as well.
Thinking of what her parents did, I thought the best way is to bring my whole family together with me in Ipoh. So, my parents and younger brother shifted to Ipoh. But, my in laws never gave in and are always demanding.
When dad shifted in not long, dad quarrelled with Ching. I can understand this because I knew dad has bad temper just like Ching.
Ching basically cant get along with anyone with my family member as well. She even dislike my brother, Leong.
I told myself, the only person who has the best temper is mom. If mom also could not tolerate with Ching, this is the time when I should put a full stop to my marriage.
True enough, one day, mom also explode with Ching. That is the time when I know the end of my marriage.
When we look for our life partner, it is very important that we should always put into the consideration of both parties family members and relationship as well.
The way they interact, their financial status will some how affect us and we can know whats our position when we are married.
So, it is very important to choose our life partner wisely.
I came to know that he ran away from his wife and her family. It seems that his wife and family have been pestering him to buy a new 3 storey house together with them. They wanted to have 3 names (owner) for the house, namely Kim Yeong, his brother-in-law and his sister-in-law.
Kim Yeong felt very angry and disappointed because he has been very supportive of his wife's family. Almost every expenses of the family borned by him.
But of late his wife been pestering him to purchase the new house together with her family members, this is when Kim Yeong felt the full stop for everything.
Kim Yeong was saying, even the family's car, proton saga monthly installment has to be paid by Kim Yeong. What if after purchasing the new house and he has to pay everything for the new house.
Feeling overly pressured, Kim Yeong decided to leave his wife and child behind and come back to stay with his mother.
When I came to know about Kim Yeong story, I did not pity much on him. Why? Because when he was staying with me, I have been advised him so much about family matters.
I have told him and shared with him about my previous marrage. Now, he certainly agreed with me that when a man marries, its no longer about the man and his wife but also about both family together.
Kim Yeong's situation is very much like my situation on my previous marriage.
Initially when I was with Ching ( ex-wife ), we still get along well because she agreed and understood how her parents are.
Her father thought by giving me the bakery business means that giving me the golden bowl. Almost every expenses he incurred, has to be borned by me. Even when he drove to KL or Genting Highlands, the meals, the petrol, charges for car services have to borne by me. Even his daily 3 meals eating out will be claimed.
When he has his relatives from KL visiting him in Ipoh, he will bring them out for sumtious dinner. There he will pay for everything. But upon reaching home, his hand will be taken out to get money from me.
I felt very angry with the in laws. But I still can work out the marriage is because Ching still support me and against her parents as well.
Thinking of what her parents did, I thought the best way is to bring my whole family together with me in Ipoh. So, my parents and younger brother shifted to Ipoh. But, my in laws never gave in and are always demanding.
When dad shifted in not long, dad quarrelled with Ching. I can understand this because I knew dad has bad temper just like Ching.
Ching basically cant get along with anyone with my family member as well. She even dislike my brother, Leong.
I told myself, the only person who has the best temper is mom. If mom also could not tolerate with Ching, this is the time when I should put a full stop to my marriage.
True enough, one day, mom also explode with Ching. That is the time when I know the end of my marriage.
When we look for our life partner, it is very important that we should always put into the consideration of both parties family members and relationship as well.
The way they interact, their financial status will some how affect us and we can know whats our position when we are married.
So, it is very important to choose our life partner wisely.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Friends
Ever since I am at very young age, I can easily get friends and befriended anyone.
The inner behaviour in me which is very strong... did not like to hurt or disrespect anyone in any way perhaps earned me many friends. Well... At times I really feel this is disadvantage as well. Cos I do not know how to turn down people politely. Any way, I learn as I grow up to say no to my friends.
Friends... Please take note: Friends can be of great help and also can be our worst enemy and disaster in life...
When I was at my teenage life, practically I have friends everywhere. Who is good and bad, I don't really know how to differentiate them. To me at that time, those who hurt my feelings are the bad ones. But very few of these friends will show their true colour.
At the age of 14, I started to learn how to socialise around. I mixed with few groups of friends. I even mix with friends who are not from my school that is my cousin, Kee. So lucky that mom has always been against me getting close to this friend. Mom told Ms Devi (my tuition teacher) to made me realise on her worries about me and the people I mix with.
I felt so lucky that Ms Devi managed to make me realised how much my parents love me and from that time onwards I did not mix with Kee. Mom is very right. Kee ended up becoming a drug addict and went to prison a few times. So do Kee's friends. Majority of them became drug addicts as well.
By right from here I should learn my lesson well but then I just learned that not to mix with the wrong party. I still do not know what are the harms that friends might do on us.
When I was in my college life, as usual I mix freely with friends. I still remember at one time when I was with few friends walking along Bunga Raya Road in Melaka, I was waiving practically non stop to people. My friends even noticed this and even said I was waiving to so many people from the beginning of the road till the end of the road. That shows how popular and friendly I was.
Finally, it is when at my college life that I learned my lesson well from my classmate, Meng Kiat. At one he was my room mate. I spent so much on him as he is not from a well to do family till he took things for granted out of me. From him, I learnt my lessons well.
From that time onwards, I really learnt my lessons well. Even though I still mix and be friendly with people, I choose my friends carefully.
When I was having my bakery business in Ipoh and Butterworth, I basically do not have any close friends at all through my college lessons.
After divorce, when I am in the tourism industry, again I felt the importance of friends.
It is Chee who helped me back into the tourism industry. And during my guiding life, I come across few friends who are very sincere and helpful. I started to treat Kong, Sam and Thum as very close friends like brothers.
It is very well important that the people we mix with should be the creme de la creme: Meaning to say that if the people that we mix are of top quality, generally we will be one of the top as well.
However, if we are not careful, the friends that we mix with are gamblers, generally we will become gamblers. Please note that friends tend to mould us into what we are as well indirectly without us realising it.
Of course there are just too many bad incidents and experiences that I am very careful with my friends. I always when we have more friends, they are more harmful then useful. Mom has always reminded me this from time to time.
I have few very lucky moments that through friends help that I go through my hardships.
Sam lend me the money so that I have my deposit money to buy this house I call home.
Kong entertain me and accompanying me when I was so down when I broke up with my girlfriend.
Thum helped me when I was really down at my job. He voluntarily allowed me to follow him during his tours. He made me wake up and well aware on how to earn money again.
So, friends could be very helpful. Friends could be very harmful as well. The power is in our hand to choose our own friends. Be smart in choosing friends and they will help you in a lot of ways...
The inner behaviour in me which is very strong... did not like to hurt or disrespect anyone in any way perhaps earned me many friends. Well... At times I really feel this is disadvantage as well. Cos I do not know how to turn down people politely. Any way, I learn as I grow up to say no to my friends.
Friends... Please take note: Friends can be of great help and also can be our worst enemy and disaster in life...
When I was at my teenage life, practically I have friends everywhere. Who is good and bad, I don't really know how to differentiate them. To me at that time, those who hurt my feelings are the bad ones. But very few of these friends will show their true colour.
At the age of 14, I started to learn how to socialise around. I mixed with few groups of friends. I even mix with friends who are not from my school that is my cousin, Kee. So lucky that mom has always been against me getting close to this friend. Mom told Ms Devi (my tuition teacher) to made me realise on her worries about me and the people I mix with.
I felt so lucky that Ms Devi managed to make me realised how much my parents love me and from that time onwards I did not mix with Kee. Mom is very right. Kee ended up becoming a drug addict and went to prison a few times. So do Kee's friends. Majority of them became drug addicts as well.
By right from here I should learn my lesson well but then I just learned that not to mix with the wrong party. I still do not know what are the harms that friends might do on us.
When I was in my college life, as usual I mix freely with friends. I still remember at one time when I was with few friends walking along Bunga Raya Road in Melaka, I was waiving practically non stop to people. My friends even noticed this and even said I was waiving to so many people from the beginning of the road till the end of the road. That shows how popular and friendly I was.
Finally, it is when at my college life that I learned my lesson well from my classmate, Meng Kiat. At one he was my room mate. I spent so much on him as he is not from a well to do family till he took things for granted out of me. From him, I learnt my lessons well.
From that time onwards, I really learnt my lessons well. Even though I still mix and be friendly with people, I choose my friends carefully.
When I was having my bakery business in Ipoh and Butterworth, I basically do not have any close friends at all through my college lessons.
After divorce, when I am in the tourism industry, again I felt the importance of friends.
It is Chee who helped me back into the tourism industry. And during my guiding life, I come across few friends who are very sincere and helpful. I started to treat Kong, Sam and Thum as very close friends like brothers.
It is very well important that the people we mix with should be the creme de la creme: Meaning to say that if the people that we mix are of top quality, generally we will be one of the top as well.
However, if we are not careful, the friends that we mix with are gamblers, generally we will become gamblers. Please note that friends tend to mould us into what we are as well indirectly without us realising it.
Of course there are just too many bad incidents and experiences that I am very careful with my friends. I always when we have more friends, they are more harmful then useful. Mom has always reminded me this from time to time.
I have few very lucky moments that through friends help that I go through my hardships.
Sam lend me the money so that I have my deposit money to buy this house I call home.
Kong entertain me and accompanying me when I was so down when I broke up with my girlfriend.
Thum helped me when I was really down at my job. He voluntarily allowed me to follow him during his tours. He made me wake up and well aware on how to earn money again.
So, friends could be very helpful. Friends could be very harmful as well. The power is in our hand to choose our own friends. Be smart in choosing friends and they will help you in a lot of ways...
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Using Heart And Brain... Recipe For Success
Formerly when I was drinking with Thum most of the time, he used to say we must use our heart when taking the tours. I don't really know what it means till one day I follow his tours.
By using our heart means we will go all the way, work real heart, with full of sincerity, little minor things also we will becareful.
It is very important that no matter which work we do, we use our heart to give it all the way so that we can be very successful.
When I was in the bakery line, I remember from time to time I will invent new cake. Even though when the cake appeared all right, but by the time I put the cake into my mouth, if it doesn't give me the ooomph that I have the urge to go for another bite, then I won't put the cake to the market for sale.
I will keep on trying improving on the flavour of the cake... no matter how long it takes, just like the ma lai koh. It proved to be one of the best among the bakers and now most of the people will go for it.
Not only that when use our heart in our work, it is also very important that we put some time to sit down to think. This is a very, very crucial period.
There are many unsolved problems or inspirations come in when we are able to sit down to think. (using the brain)
It is really a magical thing when we are spending at times only 5 yo 10 minutes on what we are doing.
Of course, in order for us to be successful, there are still very much more important factors. But I always believe we must put in our full effort (heart) and brain.
By using our heart means we will go all the way, work real heart, with full of sincerity, little minor things also we will becareful.
It is very important that no matter which work we do, we use our heart to give it all the way so that we can be very successful.
When I was in the bakery line, I remember from time to time I will invent new cake. Even though when the cake appeared all right, but by the time I put the cake into my mouth, if it doesn't give me the ooomph that I have the urge to go for another bite, then I won't put the cake to the market for sale.
I will keep on trying improving on the flavour of the cake... no matter how long it takes, just like the ma lai koh. It proved to be one of the best among the bakers and now most of the people will go for it.
Not only that when use our heart in our work, it is also very important that we put some time to sit down to think. This is a very, very crucial period.
There are many unsolved problems or inspirations come in when we are able to sit down to think. (using the brain)
It is really a magical thing when we are spending at times only 5 yo 10 minutes on what we are doing.
Of course, in order for us to be successful, there are still very much more important factors. But I always believe we must put in our full effort (heart) and brain.
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